If you're having a long, detailed conversation about your trip and suddenly the AI seems to forget something you told it earlier or gives an answer that doesn't fit the context, you've likely hit the system's token limit—it has forgotten part of the conversation to make room for new input. Starting a new conversation and pasting your key details into the first message works better for very long planning sessions.
Think of tokens like words, but slightly different. When you talk to an AI, every word you write and every word the AI responds with uses tokens. It's the unit of "cost" the AI uses to process language. And every AI tool has a maximum number of tokens it can handle in one conversation—a hard limit, like a fuel tank.
Here's why this matters for relationships: you've been having an amazing conversation with an AI about your communication problems. You've gone back and forth for thirty minutes. Then suddenly the AI starts giving short, vague responses. Or it seems to "forget" something you said earlier in the conversation. Often, you've hit the token limit. The AI's tank is full, and it can't process as much context anymore.
Imagine you're explaining a complex family dynamic—you need to describe your mom, your partner, and the tension between them. By the time you're explaining the actual problem, you've used hundreds of tokens just on context. The AI has less "space" left to give you a thoughtful response. Or you're asking the AI to read a transcript of a conflict with your partner—that transcript alone might consume most of your token budget.
Different tools have different limits. ChatGPT's regular version has lower limits; the premium versions allow more. Claude has generous limits. Google Gemini varies. These aren't arbitrary—they're based on how expensive it is for the company to run the AI.
Try this: Have a multi-message conversation with Claude or ChatGPT about a relationship issue. Around message 15-20, ask it to summarize what you've discussed. Then notice if that summary is shorter or less detailed than earlier in the conversation—that's your signal you're approaching the limit.
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