Refusal and Resilience: Living Contradiction

Sor Juana neither fully accepted the religious obedience demanded of her nor could she entirely escape its constraints; she remained in the convent while pursuing intellectual freedom, accepting some restrictions while resisting others. This concept names refusal and resilience as ongoing practices rather than dramatic ruptures. In examining cisgender identity, refusal involves recognizing which demands we will not internalize completely: perhaps refusing the expectation that intellectual ambition diminish with motherhood, or refusing to perform deference to less knowledgeable men, or refusing to silence anger at injustice. Resilience involves sustaining these refusals within systems we cannot fully exit. The concept acknowledges that complete escape from cisgender identity constraints is often impossible—we live in contradiction. Rather than viewing this as failure, Sor Juana's example demonstrates that living contradiction while refusing full compliance can be a powerful practice. This framework helps explain why cisgender women often feel caught between competing demands: it is because we are caught, and the task is not resolution but sustained refusal of what harms us. The concept invites strategic thinking: Which constraints will we refuse? How do we refuse within constraint? What resilience practices sustain us?