The Right to Refuse Harmful Relationships

Sor Juana entered a convent partly to escape the restrictive expectations of her family and society. While not a choice most children have, her model demonstrates the importance of being able to establish boundaries and distance oneself from harmful relational contexts. Many children's rights frameworks assume children must maintain relationships with parents and family regardless of harm, treating family unity as a value that supersedes child safety. Sor Juana's example—her choice to create a different life when her original context was harmful—suggests that the right to refuse or limit relationships is essential to dignity. For contemporary children's rights, this means taking seriously children's preferences about contact with abusive or toxic family members, supporting children in leaving dangerous situations, and not treating family preservation as an absolute good. Children have the right to say 'no' to relationships that harm them, to create chosen families, and to prioritize their own healing over institutional pressure to maintain family bonds. This right is foundational to safety and recovery.