The practice of using the person or thing we've lost as a reflective surface to understand ourselves, our values, and what we're capable of becoming.
In bhakti devotion, the beloved—Krishna, the divine—functions as a mirror. Mirabai's obsessive focus on Krishna was not escape; it was a practice of seeing herself more clearly through her longing. What we grieve reveals who we are. The person we've lost becomes a mirror showing us our capacity for love, our vulnerabilities, our hopes. This concept invites us to look at grief not as something to move past, but as a reflective practice. Who was this person to me? What did they call forth in me? What did I learn about myself through loving them? What are they still teaching me through their absence? These questions transform loss into self-knowledge. The beloved—whether person, place, identity, or dream—becomes a teacher. Mirabai's poetry shows this constant mirroring: she examines her own heart by examining her devotion. When we grieve someone, we're also grieving an aspect of ourselves that was alive in relationship to them. That loss, examined honestly, illuminates who we are and who we're becoming. The mirror doesn't heal the loss; it deepens our capacity to live with wisdom about what mattered.
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