The Dance of Presence and Absence

In Mirabai's devotional practice, Krishna is sometimes present, sometimes absent—and both states teach her something essential. She doesn't demand constant presence or reject relationship due to unavoidable absence. Instead, she develops capacity to love through both states. This maps directly to secure attachment: the ability to maintain connection while apart, to feel secure in absence, and to neither cling desperately when together nor withdraw when apart. Anxious attachment often struggles with absence—creating anxiety that demands reassurance. Avoidant attachment avoids the challenge of presence—preferring distance and independence. Secure attachment dances between presence and absence, both states enriching the relationship. Applied to partner selection, this concept asks: Can I choose someone whose actual schedule and life circumstances I can tolerate? Can I maintain my sense of worth when they're unavailable? Can I be fully present when together without losing myself? Can I be productively alone without abandonment spiraling? Mirabai's practice shows that the dance itself is the relationship, not constant union. She loved Krishna through longing, through presence, through emptiness, through ecstasy. This flexibility transforms how you choose—selecting not for someone who'll be constantly available but for someone you can genuinely dance with through life's natural rhythms.