Devotion Versus Dependency

Mirabai's devotion to Krishna was absolute, yet it was not dependency. She maintained spiritual autonomy, moral clarity, and creative expression even in complete surrender. This paradox illuminates a crucial distinction for modern attachment: devotion is chosen, renewable, and compatible with selfhood; dependency is compulsive, reactive, and requires self-abandonment. Someone with secure attachment can be deeply devoted to their partner while maintaining their own values, friendships, and aspirations. Someone with anxious attachment may mistake dependency for devotion—clinging, monitoring, demanding constant reassurance while losing their sense of self. Mirabai shows us that true love expands capacity rather than contracts it. She became more fully herself through her devotion, not less. This concept invites examination: Does my attachment to this partner expand my aliveness, creativity, and integrity, or compress them? Am I devoted to this person, or dependent on their validation for my sense of self? The distinction determines attachment health.