Devotion as Practice, Not Possession

A fundamental misunderstanding in insecure attachment is treating love as transactional—if I am devoted, faithful, or self-sacrificing, my partner *owes* me certain outcomes: consistency, certainty, reassurance, staying. Mirabai's bhakti inverts this: devotion is what she *does*, regardless of Krishna's response. She doesn't practice to earn Krishna's presence; she practices because the practice itself is sacred and transformative. Applied to romantic attachment, this reframes the anxious cycle: we cannot *earn* a secure partner through perfect behavior, and a secure partner cannot guarantee perfect consistency. Secure attachment means committing to daily practices—kindness, honesty, showing up emotionally—without guaranteeing they will prevent pain, conflict, or loss. It means loving as a spiritual discipline: we show up not because we're guaranteed a reward, but because integrity and love require presence. This shifts the locus of control from external (managing the partner's feelings) to internal (managing our own intention and effort). Devotion as practice liberates us from outcome-dependence and roots us in agency.