Mirabai's teaching distinguishes between devotional love—which honors the beloved's autonomy—and possessive love, which seeks to control and own.
A fundamental bhakti insight is that true love respects the beloved's freedom and otherness. Mirabai loved Krishna without demanding he remain in her life, without clinging to outcomes, without trying to change him to suit her needs. This contrasts sharply with attachment patterns driven by fear: anxious attachment often masks possessiveness—needing constant reassurance, monitoring a partner's activities, seeking to control behavior. Avoidant attachment sometimes masks possession through distance: withholding emotional presence to maintain control. Mirabai's teaching asks partners to examine their love: Are you devoted to this person's freedom and flourishing, or devoted to your idea of them? Are you loving them, or loving what they provide you? This distinction is crucial. Devotional love celebrates the partner as they are; possessive love tries to remake them. The examined heart distinguishes between these through honest inquiry: When I feel fear or urgency with my partner, am I responding to real intimacy or to my need to possess?
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
Explore related journeys or tell Peri what you're working through.