Mirabai's intense devotion never erased her agency; this concept balances genuine commitment with the self-preservation necessary for secure attachment.
A common misconception is that Mirabai's devotion meant self-erasure, but her poetry reveals a woman of fierce will, clear boundaries, and refusal to compromise her truth for anyone—even her beloved Krishna. She did not disappear into devotion; she deepened into it. This paradox illuminates secure attachment: genuine commitment doesn't require abandoning yourself. Anxiously attached people often equate love with self-diminishment—I'll be less, want less, take up less space so you'll stay. This leads to resentment and relational exhaustion. Secure attachment means loving fully while maintaining your integrity, your needs, your voice. Mirabai challenged Krishna in her poetry, expressed her anger, negotiated her needs. She modeled devotion that includes self-respect. When choosing a partner, ask: Can I be fully committed to this person while remaining fully myself? Does this relationship expand or contract my sense of agency? A partner who requires your diminishment is incompatible with genuine love, however intense.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
Explore related journeys or tell Peri what you're working through.