The Examined Heart Practice

Mirabai's poetry reveals a saint in dialogue with her own longing, grief, and desire—she examined her heart relentlessly. This practice mirrors what secure attachment requires: honest self-awareness about why we attach the way we do. Anxious partners often avoid examining why they need constant reassurance; avoidant partners may not interrogate their fear of intimacy. The examined heart practice draws from bhakti's introspective devotion: sitting with your emotional truth without fixing it immediately. Ask: What do I fear losing in this relationship? What do I need that I'm not asking for? Where do I abandon myself? This isn't therapy-speak; it's the ancient practice of self-inquiry. Mirabai's songs model this—she didn't hide her longing or her anger at God. When we examine our hearts with her kind of unflinching honesty, we move from reactive attachment patterns toward conscious choice.