A contemplative practice of turning inward to distinguish between authentic grief and anxiety-driven anticipation, rooted in Mirabai's relentless self-inquiry.
Mirabai's poetry reveals a saint who examined her own heart without mercy, naming her longing, her doubt, her pain with precise clarity. The Examined Heart's Vigil applies this practice to anticipatory grief: a daily or weekly inquiry into what is actually present versus what is imagined. Am I grieving their real absence or my projected fear of it? Is this sorrow mine or borrowed from catastrophizing? Mirabai asked uncomfortable questions of herself and God alike. By turning the light of awareness inward, we create space between the trigger (their diagnosis, aging, distance) and our reactivity. This isn't spiritual bypassing—it's honest reckoning. The vigil involves journaling, meditation, or dialogue with a trusted witness, exploring the specific flavors of anticipatory grief: Am I preparing to survive their loss or am I already abandoning them emotionally? This practice honors both the reality of impending change and our human tendency to grieve in advance, creating clarity about where our agency and freedom actually lie.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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