A contemplative discipline of scrutinizing the quality, motivation, and impact of our love to ensure it serves liberation rather than attachment.
Mirabai's examined heart continually questioned her devotion: Was her love for Krishna authentic surrender or ego-driven fantasy? Was her rejection of marriage a spiritual calling or a personal wound? The examined heart refuses comfortable certainty. In African Ubuntu love, examined love practice asks: Do I love this person toward their freedom or toward my security? Am I honoring their wholeness or demanding they fit my narrative? This framework draws from both contemplative introspection and relational accountability. Through journaling, dialogue, and honest reflection, we investigate whether our love expands or contracts the beloved, whether it serves mutual growth or codependency. For families and communities, examined love prevents the reproduction of harmful patterns masked as care—control presented as protection, enmeshment labeled as closeness. This practice honors Mirabai's insistence that true devotion includes rigorous self-knowledge and her willingness to grieve loves that don't serve liberation.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
Explore related journeys or tell Peri what you're working through.