Recognizing that secure attachment requires freedom—the safety to be fully yourself, to grow, and to leave if necessary.
Mirabai's most radical act was her refusal to be contained: not by marriage, not by family, not by social convention, ultimately not by any external force. Yet her freedom didn't isolate her—it deepened her capacity for genuine connection. Secure attachment is often misunderstood as enmeshment or permanent fusion. In Mirabai's bhakti tradition, the deepest love coexists with the deepest freedom. When choosing a partner, this framework asks: Does this person support my becoming? Do I feel safe being fully myself? Could I leave if I needed to, and would they let me? A partner who demands your loyalty through fear or obligation cannot provide secure attachment. A partner who celebrates your autonomy, your growth, your right to choose them daily—that is secure attachment. This concept inverts the typical anxious attachment narrative (love means staying) and offers instead: Love means freedom. When both partners maintain radical personal autonomy, attachment becomes choice rather than trap.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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