Recognizing that secure attachment is built on inner freedom—the paradoxical truth that the most devoted partners are those free to leave.
Mirabai's devotion to Krishna was paradoxically rooted in freedom. She left her husband, defied her family, and ultimately shed all conventional attachments to follow her spiritual longing. Yet this freedom didn't create detachment—it deepened her capacity to love without neediness. In modern attachment terms, secure attachment requires what seems contradictory: the freedom to leave. When you stay in a relationship from genuine choice rather than fear, obligation, or desperation, you're most capable of healthy love. Anxious attachment often stems from fear of abandonment making you afraid to assert needs or boundaries. Avoidant attachment uses pseudo-freedom as a defense against true intimacy. Mirabai's model suggests that true devotion—whether spiritual or romantic—blooms when both partners are genuinely free to choose their presence. This framework invites you to examine: Do I stay with my partner from authentic choice or from fear? Can I leave? If the answer is no—if you feel trapped—that's valuable information about your attachment pattern and your need for healing before healthy partnership.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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