Mirabai abandoned marriage and family for spiritual devotion; examining how secure attachment requires non-negotiable personal freedom.
Mirabai's life was radical refusal: she rejected marital duty, social expectation, and family obligation in service of her authentic devotion. This wasn't rejection of love but rejection of love conditional on loss of self. For attachment patterns, her example illuminates a crucial truth: secure attachment requires that neither partner sacrifice their essential freedom or authenticity. Anxious attachment often involves bargaining away our needs to keep a partner close; avoidant attachment uses independence as armor against intimacy. Neither serves freedom. Mirabai models a third path: choosing a partner and relationship structure that honors both persons' non-negotiable need for autonomy, truth-telling, and spiritual/personal development. This means examining: Does this relationship require me to dim myself? Am I choosing this partner because they allow my freedom or because I hope they'll eventually give me permission to be myself? Secure attachment emerges when both partners can say, 'I choose you freely, and I will not abandon myself in doing so.'
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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