The principle that genuine love requires preserving individual autonomy and self-determination, not fusion or loss of self.
Mirabai abandoned her marriage, defied her family, and lived as a wandering devotee—choices that horrified her society but were non-negotiable for her spiritual integrity. She teaches that true love never demands the erasure of self. Many insecure attachment patterns involve trading freedom for security: anxious attachment accepts control and constraint to maintain connection; avoidant attachment sacrifices intimacy to preserve autonomy. Mirabai shows a third way: love that expands rather than contracts your freedom. When choosing a partner, this concept asks: Does this person help you become more fully yourself, or do you diminish to fit the relationship? Can you maintain friendships, solitude, creative work, spiritual practice? Do you have to hide parts of yourself? Mirabai loved intensely but never surrendered her freedom to love on her own terms. She models that genuine attachment involves two autonomous people choosing each other repeatedly, not merger or dependency.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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