Mirabai's refusal to compromise her spiritual autonomy models how secure attachment requires maintaining individual freedom, not losing it in merger.
Mirabai's greatest act of devotion was not surrender of selfhood but fierce protection of it. She rejected her husband's demands, her family's control, and social expectations to maintain her relationship with Krishna. This models a revolutionary attachment principle: genuine love cannot exist where freedom is surrendered. Many anxiously attached people unconsciously believe love requires self-abandonment—adopting the partner's preferences, suppressing their needs, shrinking their lives. Avoidantly attached people, sensing this risk, flee before it happens. Mirabai teaches that true devotion is possible only between free people. This means your attachment style should support your autonomy: you choose your partner from your own ground, not from desperation or duty. The questions become: Do you lose yourself in relationships? Can you maintain your spiritual life, friendships, and individual pursuits while in partnership? Can your partner do the same? Secure attachment means choosing someone who enhances your freedom rather than threatens it. This isn't selfishness but spiritual maturity—recognizing that only free people can truly love.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
Explore related journeys or tell Peri what you're working through.