The insight that secure attachment emerges only when you're genuinely free to leave, choosing partnership from autonomy rather than desperation.
Mirabai's most radical act was choosing herself—choosing freedom over marriage, convention, family approval. Her devotion to Krishna became possible precisely because she had no external obligation to stay. This reframes attachment security: if you remain in a relationship because you fear abandonment, believe you can't survive alone, or depend on your partner for identity, you're not truly choosing—you're trapped. Secure attachment requires that paradoxical freedom: the genuine option to leave, paired with the choice to stay. Many anxious attachment patterns persist because we haven't claimed our autonomy; we haven't truly believed we could thrive solo. Mirabai's example suggests that the path to secure partnership runs through solitude and self-sufficiency first. This doesn't romanticize isolation; it means developing capacity to meet your own needs, maintain your own purpose, and find meaning independent of romance. Only then can partnership become what it's meant to be: a genuine meeting between two whole people rather than a desperate merger of two halves. The irony: claiming your freedom often transforms your attachment style more than any relationship could.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
Explore related journeys or tell Peri what you're working through.