By releasing fantasies about who a partner 'should' be, you see who they actually are and can choose with clarity rather than projection.
Mirabai abandoned her husband, family, and social role to follow her devotion to Krishna—a radical renunciation that freed her from others' expectations. In attachment patterns, we often cling to partners who don't fit our actual needs because we've invested in an imagined version of them. The anxiously attached person might romanticize a distant partner, convinced they can change them through love. The avoidantly attached might choose someone emotionally unavailable to justify their isolation. Renouncing these fantasy versions—the project of transformation, the familiar pain—requires grief. Mirabai's willingness to lose everything for truth models this. When you relinquish the expectation that a partner will complete you, heal your wounds, or validate your worth, you can finally see them clearly. This clear sight allows genuine choice: Does this actual person support my actual growth? Can we meet honestly?
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
Explore related journeys or tell Peri what you're working through.