A discernment tool asking whether a potential or current partner allows or restricts your freedom, inspired by Mirabai's unwillingness to compromise her spiritual autonomy.
Mirabai's life offers a powerful litmus test for partnership: Does this relationship allow me to be myself? She refused to be constrained by a conventional marriage, by family pressure, by social expectation, or even by the need for the divine to reciprocate her love. This freedom test becomes essential in evaluating attachment patterns and partner choice. Secure attachment does not mean enmeshment or the loss of autonomy. Ask yourself: Can I express my authentic thoughts and feelings without fear? Do I have permission to grow in directions my partner doesn't share? Can I maintain friendships and pursuits independent of this relationship? Does my partner support my spiritual or personal development even when it challenges them? Does this partnership allow me privacy, solitude, and time alone? Mirabai modeled that true love requires both people to remain radically free—free to question, to change, to disagree, to pursue their own truth. When evaluating a partner or partnership, this framework suggests that excessive restriction, surveillance, criticism, or control are attachment red flags, regardless of how intensely the other person claims to love you. Secure attachment paradoxically requires that both people maintain the freedom to leave.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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