Kshama: The Forgiveness Inherent in Release

Kshama means forgiveness or patience and is considered a divine quality in bhakti traditions. It is not about excusing harmful behavior but about releasing the contraction of judgment and blame. Often, grief for a lost identity is tangled with self-judgment: you regret who you were, the choices you made, the person you allowed yourself to become. This judgment creates a secondary grief layered over the original loss. Kshama invites you to see the person you were with the forbearance you would extend to a good friend. She was doing the best she could with the awareness, resources, and circumstances she had. Mirabai, though celebrated as a saint, lived a life many judged harshly—as a woman who "abandoned" duty and propriety. Her own kshama, expressed in her poetry, was not self-blame but clear-eyed acceptance of her choices and their costs. When you practice kshama toward your former self, you are not erasing accountability; you are releasing the harsh internal judge that keeps grief alive as punishment. This forgiveness is what allows the past to truly become past, and the grieving self to become free.