Recontextualize yearning and desire in relationships as potentially sacred experiences rather than symptoms of anxious attachment requiring elimination.
Modern attachment theory often pathologizes longing—treating yearning, desire, and the ache of missing someone as anxious attachment symptoms to overcome. Mirabai offers a different frame: longing as a spiritual practice, a way of refining and deepening your capacity for love. Her songs don't suppress her anguish at Krishna's absence; they transform it into devotional fuel. This doesn't mean settling for emotionally unavailable partners or mistaking painful obsession for healthy attachment. Rather, it suggests that some degree of longing is natural and can be sanctified. When you miss your partner deeply, that can reflect genuine love rather than pathology. When you yearn for deeper intimacy, that reflects your capacity for transcendence. The question becomes: Can you long for your partner while also trusting their presence? Can you feel desire while maintaining your integrity? Mirabai demonstrates that longing becomes destructive only when it requires you to abandon yourself or settle for crumbs. Healthy attachment honors desire while maintaining reciprocity.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
Explore related journeys or tell Peri what you're working through.