The practice of loving without needing to own or control—Mirabai's radical freedom in devotion translated to partner selection.
Mirabai's most revolutionary act was loving Krishna while refusing marriage to earthly men and defying family control. She distinguished between longing—the vital, alive current of the heart—and possession, the grip of fear. In modern attachment theory, possessive attachment stems from scarcity consciousness: the belief there is only one person who can complete us. Mirabai's tradition teaches that longing actually grows when we release the need to possess. Applied to partner choice, this concept reframes avoidant attachment not as freedom but as a subtle form of possession—the attempt to control closeness itself. True freedom in attachment means staying open to love while maintaining your own spiritual autonomy. When selecting partners, this wisdom asks: Are you drawn to them from fullness of longing, or from emptiness of need? Can you love them without requiring them to be your salvation?
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
Explore related journeys or tell Peri what you're working through.