Love as Spiritual Practice, Not Transaction

Mirabai loved Krishna not for what she could gain but as an end in itself—the relationship was the point. In modern attachment theory, many people unconsciously approach partners as transactions: I'll be attractive if you'll make me feel worthy; I'll be controlled if you'll stay; I'll disappear if you'll leave me alone. This transactional mindset reflects insecure attachment. Mirabai's example suggests an alternative: entering relationships as spiritual practice where both people commit to witnessing, challenging, and supporting each other's authenticity. From this perspective, a partner isn't a solution to your incompleteness but a mirror and companion on the path toward wholeness. This shift from "what can this person do for me" to "how can we both grow through this connection" fundamentally alters which partners appeal to us and how we show up in relationships.