Developing the capacity for clear-eyed evaluation of partnerships while remaining open-hearted, balancing Mirabai's devotion with her refusal to accept harm.
While Mirabai was devoted and passionate, she also demonstrated fierce discernment—she refused harmful situations, rejected false claims to authority, and protected her spiritual integrity. Bhakti devotion is not passive acceptance. In attachment psychology, many anxiously attached people confuse love with tolerance of poor treatment, believing devotion means accepting harm. The love's-toughness framework insists these are separable: genuine attachment doesn't require accepting disrespect, infidelity, addiction, or abuse. Mirabai's example teaches that real love is discriminating. The examined heart develops capacity to simultaneously hold devotion and discernment—to love deeply while clearly seeing whether a partnership serves both people's growth or diminishes it. Applied to partner selection, this means asking hard questions: Does this person honor their commitments? Can they admit error and grow? Do they treat others well? Do I need to suppress my truth to maintain their approval? This concept prevents people from confusing attachment with attachment to the wrong person, using spiritual language to justify acceptance of harm.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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