Distinguishing between anxious clinging and genuine spiritual commitment to illuminate unhealthy versus healthy attachment patterns in romantic relationships.
Mirabai's critics accused her of obsessive behavior—abandoning family, social duty, and propriety for Krishna. Yet her bhakti tradition distinguishes between obsession, which is self-centered and consuming, and devotion, which is liberating and expansive. Applied to attachment styles, this distinction clarifies a crucial question: Does your attachment to a partner confine you or free you? Obsessive attachment anxiously monitors the other's behavior, demands constant reassurance, and contracts when threatened. True devotional attachment, by contrast, genuinely wishes the other's growth, maintains personal integrity, and expands in generosity. Mirabai's insistence on freedom—refusing to be controlled by social expectation or possessive family members—models how genuine love strengthens independence rather than requiring merger. This concept helps you evaluate whether your partnership serves mutual flourishing or mutual enmeshment. The examined question becomes: Am I devoted to this person's highest self, or am I obsessed with securing their presence to soothe my own emptiness?
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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