Bhakti's highest love—prema—dissolves the separate self entirely, offering a model for moving beyond grief by releasing attachment to identity itself.
Prema in bhakti tradition is love so complete it annihilates the distinction between lover and beloved, self and other. Mirabai's consuming devotion exemplifies this: she surrendered the boundaries of her individual identity to merge with the divine. Applied to identity grief, prema suggests that clinging to a stable, separate identity is itself the source of suffering. If you grieve the loss of identity A, it is because you believe identity is a fixed possession that defines you. Prema offers a paradoxical freedom: grief cannot touch what was never truly yours to own. This doesn't mean becoming passive or dissolute, but rather holding your identity lightly, as a temporary costume rather than an essential truth. The practice involves gradually expanding your sense of self beyond its historical boundaries—recognizing that you are also the observer of your identity, the space in which identities arise and dissolve. This reframes identity loss as part of a natural flow rather than a catastrophe.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
Explore related journeys or tell Peri what you're working through.