Prema, divine love itself, teaches that grief and love are inseparable; you grieve the lost identity precisely because you once loved it, and that love is still real.
Prema is not romantic sentiment but the fundamental force of love that bhakti traditions recognize as the ground of existence. For Mirabai, prema wasn't directed toward a person but toward the divine itself—a love so total it reorganized her entire life. In Western psychology, we often separate grief from love, as if loss cancels affection. Bhakti wisdom teaches otherwise: you grieve because you loved. The lost identity deserves grief precisely because it mattered, because it protected you, because it carried your earlier becoming. Honoring that lost self with love—rather than shame or dismissal—paradoxically helps you release it. Practicing prema toward your former self means: acknowledging how hard that identity worked for you, recognizing it as a necessary chapter, forgiving it for its limitations, and blessing it as it passes. This compassionate love transforms grief from resentment ("that false self trapped me") into gratitude ("that identity served me until it didn't"). Prema creates the emotional container in which grief can truly soften.
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