The highest bhakti principle that love, not ego, must ground your grief work—mourning what you were through compassion rather than shame.
Prema is often translated as "love" but means something deeper: the unconditional, selfless love that is the ultimate reality in bhakti philosophy. Mirabai's poetry is saturated with prema—she loved the divine not from obligation but from the center of her being. When you grieve a lost identity, the tone you bring to that grief matters immensely. If you approach it through shame, blame, or the ego's wound, the grief becomes stuck. But if you bring prema—a tender, compassionate love toward the person you were—something shifts. Prema means grieving your former self as you would grieve a beloved who has died: with gratitude for what they gave you, acknowledgment of their beauty and struggle, and acceptance that they cannot return. This love-based mourning does not keep you attached to the past; it honors and releases it. When you can love the person you were without needing to be her again, the grip of grief loosens, and transformation becomes possible.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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