Seva: Service Love and Anxious Caretaking

Mirabai's devotion included service to Krishna, but it flowed from abundance and freedom, not from desperate attempt to earn love through usefulness. Many anxiously attached partners practice a distorted seva: they over-function, anticipate needs, manage their partner's emotions, all to prevent abandonment. This isn't true service—it's a protection racket. Real seva, in Mirabai's tradition, comes from one's own fullness and offers itself without expectation of return. The difference is subtle but crucial: Does this caretaking come from confidence in love, or fear of its loss? Am I serving because I choose to, or because I fear my partner will leave if I don't? Partners can use this distinction to examine their giving patterns. Secure seva means maintaining your own life, setting boundaries, and offering love as a gift rather than a transaction. When both partners practice genuine seva instead of anxious caretaking, relationships transform: actions come from abundance rather than scarcity, creating generosity instead of resentment.