The realization that anticipatory grief often places us in a trance state, and that waking to the present moment is the deepest practice.
Tandra is a yogic term for a dream-like torpor, a state between sleep and waking where nothing feels quite real. Anticipatory grief often induces this state: we move through days in a fog of surreality, half-believing the loss is coming, unable to feel the person as fully present. Mirabai's practice was one of radical waking—she saw clearly, loved fiercely, protested injustice without numbness. In tandra-breaking practice, we deliberately return to sensation: the texture of the person's skin, the specific pitch of their voice, the particular way they hold a cup. This is not dissociation into minutiae but a return to vivid presence. By waking from the hypnotic spell of anticipatory grief, we reclaim the time we have. Each moment becomes not a rehearsal for loss but a full encounter with life.
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