The kleshas are five psychological patterns—ignorance, ego, attachment, aversion, and fear of loss—that drive insecure attachment and unconscious relational patterns.
Patanjali identifies five kleshas (afflictions) that cloud perception and create suffering. In attachment dynamics, these manifest clearly: avidya (ignorance) makes us mistake fear for love; asmita (ego) prevents us from seeing our partner's actual nature; raga (attachment) breeds possessiveness; dvesha (aversion) creates defensiveness; and abhinivesha (fear of abandonment) drives controlling behavior. Understanding the kleshas as universal patterns rather than personal failures allows partners to depersonalize triggers. When your partner withdraws, it's their abhinivesha activating, not proof you're unlovable. This shift from blame to compassionate understanding is transformative. The Yoga Sutras teach that kleshas dissolve through discriminative awareness—seeing clearly where each pattern operates. In relationship therapy terms, this is differentiation: recognizing which inherited wounds, ego defenses, or primal fears are being activated. This awareness is the first step toward choosing differently.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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