Cultivating satisfaction with your partner as they actually are, rather than constantly comparing against fantasies or pursuing idealized versions.
Santosha, one of Patanjali's foundational niyamas, is contentment—the antidote to the insatiable craving that corrodes relationships. Many adults sabotage secure attachments through constant comparison: fantasies of perfect partners, regret about past relationships, grass-is-greener thinking, or demands for partners to transform into imagined versions. Santosha invites a radical psychological shift: choosing to find sufficiency and beauty in what actually exists rather than perpetually reaching for ideals. This doesn't mean accepting abuse or incompatibility—santosha operates within the context of genuinely healthy relationships. Within that container, santosha means releasing the perfectionistic grasping that prevents you from actually experiencing the partnership you've chosen.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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