Attention as Sacred Resource

In Rabia's tradition, presence and attention to another were forms of devotion—a way of honoring their existence and dignity. This teaching reframes favoritism as a misallocation of sacred attention. Every person requires what psychologists call attunement: the experience of being seen, heard, and responded to by another. When favoritism directs excessive attention toward preferred people while withdrawing it from others, both groups suffer. The favored become dependent on constant mirroring and validation; the excluded internalize the message that they are not worth noticing. In modern contexts—parenting, leadership, friendship—this plays out constantly. A manager's favoritism directs mentorship toward preferred employees while others stagnate; a parent's preference shapes which child receives emotional presence; a friend group's favoritism marginalizes those outside the inner circle. The practice of recognizing attention as sacred suggests consciously distributing it based on need rather than preference. This might mean giving more attention to the struggling employee, the quieter child, the person at the margins. It means asking: Whom am I neglecting because they don't spark my preference? Whose growth am I starving?