Devotion to the Becoming Self

Rabia understood spiritual development as an unending process of deepening devotion and transformation; the journey itself, not arrival at a fixed destination, was sacred. Parents often unconsciously try to 'finish' their teenagers—shape them into completed adults according to a predetermined image. Adolescence, however, is explicitly a becoming—identity, sexuality, values, and relationships are all in flux. This concept invites parents to shift from a completion model to a becoming model, practicing devotion to the teenager's unfolding rather than anxious management of outcomes. This means: tolerating uncertainty about who the teen will become; celebrating growth and effort rather than only achievement; allowing the teen's values to diverge from parental values; and trusting the teen's capacity for self-discovery. Rabia's tradition teaches that the deepest love is devoted to another's becoming, their movement toward greater authenticity and connection. Applied to parenting, this stance paradoxically supports healthier outcomes—teens who feel trusted to become themselves develop stronger identity and values than those managed toward parental expectations. When parents can practice this devotion to the teen's becoming process, they communicate the most fundamental belonging: 'I love who you are in this moment and who you are becoming, even though I cannot predict or control either.' This transforms the parent-teen relationship from one of anxiety to one of faith and genuine partnership in the teenager's unfolding life.