Belonging Before Independence

Rabia's devotional path emphasized union and belonging with the Divine before personal will could be surrendered meaningfully. Applied to attachment parenting, this suggests that the cultural pressure toward early independence contradicts the child's developmental needs. Secure belonging—through co-sleeping, responsive holding, presence in distress—creates the psychological foundation from which children naturally separate and individuate. The child who feels truly belonged to, not possessed by, develops the confidence to explore and eventually leave. This reverses the typical narrative of parenting as a process of pushing children toward independence. Instead, attachment parenting recognizes that meeting the child's belonging needs actually accelerates healthy separation. Rabia's example shows that profound devotion to connection doesn't create dependence but enables authentic freedom, because the child's core need for belonging is satisfied rather than chronically unmet.