Honoring adolescent independence as essential to their development, reflecting Rabia's vision of the beloved (humanity) as fully autonomous agents in relationship with the Divine.
In Rabia's theology, love of God did not diminish human agency or autonomy; rather, true love required the beloved to be free. A being coerced into devotion is not truly devoted. This principle applies directly to adolescence: teens developing identity require genuine freedom to choose their own beliefs, aesthetics, values, and paths—including paths parents wouldn't choose. The concept challenges the assumption that parental love requires shaping teens into parental ideals. Instead, it asks: can parents love their teen as a separate being with their own unique soul, not as an extension of parental hopes? This is extraordinarily difficult during the years when adolescents make choices parents fear are harmful or foolish. Yet Rabia's wisdom suggests that autonomy preserved—even when poorly exercised—builds the relational integrity that allows for genuine dialogue and eventual influence. Adolescents trusted with agency are more likely to internalize parental wisdom as their own choice rather than reject it as imposed.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
Explore related journeys or tell Peri what you're working through.