The Ceremony of Equal Regard

The Ceremony of Equal Regard is a deliberate practice that counters the automaticity of favoritism. This might include: consciously extending the same quality of attention to each person in a gathering; setting aside dedicated time with those you naturally exclude; speaking the same words of affection to all children or all community members; creating rituals that honor each person as equally valuable. Rabia would pray with the same devotion whether serving the wealthy or the poor, whether comforting her most beloved student or a complete stranger. These ceremonies are not about feeling the same emotion toward everyone; human feelings vary. Rather, they are about choosing how you will act, what you will speak, how you will allocate your time and care. They create new neural pathways, gradually rewiring the brain away from automatic hierarchy toward deliberate equality. The practice is unglamorous but profound. When you commit to the Ceremony of Equal Regard, you notice where resistance arises—these are precisely the places where favoritism has deep roots. You discover that your heart is capable of extraordinary distribution when you actively choose it. The cost of not practicing this ceremony is that favoritism remains unconscious and automatic. Through ceremony, you reclaim choice and align action with the values Rabia embodied.