Understanding the grief and spiritual crisis both parent and teen experience as childhood connection dissolves, informed by Rabia's teachings on suffering and faith.
Rabia lived through profound darkness—slavery, poverty, abandonment—yet taught that even desolation could deepen faith and longing for the divine. Adolescence involves a comparable darkness: the loss of childhood innocence and merged identity. Parents grieve the child they once knew; teens grieve their dependence and innocence. Both experience a 'dark night'—a period where old ways no longer work and new forms haven't yet stabilized. Rabia taught that such nights are not punishments but invitations to deeper faith. Applied here: parents can normalize the grief they feel when teens pull away, understanding it as part of a spiritual passage rather than failure. Teens can be encouraged to see their disorientation not as pathology but as the necessary death of one self before another is born. This concept validates the real pain of separation while framing it within a larger wisdom tradition that honors transformation through loss. Families that can grieve together—acknowledging what is being released—paradoxically strengthen their bond.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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