Death Awareness: Love in the Face of Impermanence

Rabia lived in a time of plague, loss, and constant proximity to death. Rather than making her cynical, this awareness intensified her devotion. She loved fiercely because she knew nothing was guaranteed. Modern parents often shield themselves from this reality, living in denial about mortality as if constant vigilance could prevent loss. Yet Rabia's wisdom suggests that conscious awareness of impermanence actually deepens and purifies love. When you hold your newborn and consciously acknowledge that they are temporary—that one day they will grow, leave, die—you are suddenly present in a profound way. You stop taking this time for granted. You notice their specific smell, their particular way of grasping your finger, the exact sound of their cry. This awareness does not make you anxious but awake. Rabia teaches that true love includes the knowledge that it will end or transform. Applied to early bonding, this means: love your infant with full presence precisely because this phase will not last. The newborn will not stay a newborn. Savor it. The parent who accepts this reality paradoxically becomes calmer, less anxious about doing it perfectly, more able to simply be. Your infant senses this quality of attention—this presence informed by love's preciousness. This becomes their first lesson in what it means to love: to give fully while holding nothing, to be grateful for now without grasping for guarantees.