Parenting motivated by the child's wellbeing itself, not by expected obedience or achievement, embodying Rabia's principle of loving the divine without seeking benefit.
Rabia famously rejected serving God for paradise or fearing hellfire, insisting instead on love for its own sake. Applied to parenting, this radical principle means guiding children from genuine care for their flourishing, not from expectations of gratitude, achievement, or behavioral payoff. Authoritative parents practice this by setting boundaries for the child's growth rather than the parent's convenience, listening deeply even when it's inconvenient, and supporting the child's authentic development rather than molding them into idealized versions. Authoritarianism, by contrast, demands obedience as payment for parental investment. Pure devotional parenting releases attachment to specific outcomes—whether perfect grades or perfect behavior—and instead honors each child's unique unfolding. This paradoxically creates deeper respect and connection: children sense they are loved for themselves, not for what they produce.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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