Rabia's practice of annihilating the ego-self offers a framework for parents to release shame-based identity and emerge as new versions of themselves.
Rabia spoke of 'fana'—the dissolution of the separate self in divine love. For addicted parents, shame often hardens the ego: 'I am an addict,' 'I am a bad parent.' This concept invites a different death—not self-destruction but the dissolution of the shame-bound identity. Through Rabia's lens, recovery becomes a mystical transformation where the old self—defined by addiction and failure—genuinely dies, and a new self emerges unburdened by that narrative. This is not suppression but authentic death and rebirth. Practically, this means engaging in practices that dissolve the separate, defended self: confession, vulnerability, spiritual surrender. Children witness this transformation viscerally; they see a parent who is no longer fighting a fixed identity but becoming someone new. This rebirth is contagious—it teaches children that humans can genuinely change.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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