A deliberate reorientation of the parent's inner stance to create genuine kinship rather than legally-defined relationship.
Rabia spoke of turning the heart entirely toward what matters most, surrendering ego and social expectation. For adoptive parents, this inward work precedes and enables outward family-building. It means examining why you are adopting—releasing fantasies of the "perfect child" who will heal you or validate your worth. It means genuinely desiring the child's flourishing over your own comfort. This heart-turning is not sentimental; it is rigorous spiritual work. It requires ongoing practice: noticing when you feel disappointment that the child doesn't match your expectations, when you unconsciously compare them to biological children, when you withhold full belonging because of fear. By turning your heart consistently toward radical acceptance and belonging, you model for your child what it means to be fully received. You create the psychological safety in which they can integrate their story, their questions about identity, and their connections beyond your family.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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