The Hidden Judgment in Favoritism

Every act of favoritism contains a hidden judgment: this person is more worthy of my time, attention, love, or resources. Rabia rejected such judging because it assumes we possess the clarity to rank human worth—a presumption that contradicts her experience of divine love as universal and overflowing. The hidden judgment operates invisibly. We tell ourselves we're favoring the deserving, the grateful, the capable, the compatible—but beneath each reason lies a valuation system that ultimately claims authority we don't possess. Who are we to declare some lives more valuable than others? In families, this judgment wounds. The disfavored child carries the message: 'You are less than.' In workplaces, it breeds resentment and disengagement. In spiritual communities, it makes a mockery of teachings about equal dignity. Rabia's wisdom exposes the arrogance embedded in favoritism: the assumption that our preferences reveal truth rather than our limitations. By naming the judgment, we reclaim humility. We admit that our favorites reflect our fears, needs, and biases—not any objective hierarchy of worth. This honesty opens possibility for change.