The Practice of Spiritual Humility in Parenting

Despite Rabia's profound spiritual authority and wisdom, she maintained radical humility before God and before mystery. She resisted being made into an idol or ultimate authority. This stance directly counters one of adoption's most persistent pathologies: the savior narrative. Many adoptive parents, often unconsciously, adopt a rescuer identity—they saved the child from orphanage, poverty, or worse. This narrative, while sometimes containing factual elements, becomes spiritually and psychologically problematic. It positions the parent as savior and the child as saved, creating power imbalance and subtle obligation. Rabia's humility invites parents to release this stance. Yes, circumstances may have changed, but the parent did not rescue the child's soul or essential value. The child's resilience, intelligence, and worth predate and transcend the adoption. Parents practicing humility acknowledge the limits of their understanding, remain open to being taught by the child, and surrender the need to control the child's development or gratitude. This practice protects both parties: it releases the child from the burden of validating the parent's narrative, and it allows the parent to relate to the child as an equal soul engaged in mutual becoming rather as a subject to be improved.