Humility in the Face of Unknowing

Rabia's spiritual practice included profound unknowing—she approached the Divine in mystery, without demanding certainty. Adoptive parenting requires similar humility. You do not know your child's birth story completely. You cannot fully understand what separation felt like from their perspective. You cannot predict how their adoption will unfold in their psyche across decades. Yet many adoptive parents fill these gaps with narrative: the story of why they were relinquished, how they must feel, what they should be grateful for. This practice invites you to sit instead with unknowing. When your child asks about origins you cannot answer, say so. When they exhibit behaviors you cannot explain through their adoption story, stay curious rather than attributing everything to trauma. When they pull away or rebel, resist the urge to interpret and instead ask what they need. Humility means acknowledging that your child is vastly larger than your understanding of them. It means admitting mistakes, changing course when your child tells you something isn't working, and honoring their authority over their own experience. This humility—rare and difficult—creates space for your child to become themselves rather than your projection of who they should be.