Understanding that the parent-teen relationship is mutually transformative; the parent is not fixed guide but fellow traveler being changed by the relationship.
Rabia's love of the divine was reciprocal in her understanding—she spoke of loving God and being loved by God, a mutual encounter that transformed both lover and beloved. Parents often position themselves as fixed exemplars guiding changeable teens, but authentic relationships involve mutual transformation. The teen's questions challenge parental assumptions; their identity exploration invites parents to examine their own beliefs; their rejection of parental values requires parents to clarify what they actually believe versus what they inherited. Parents who practice interbeing acknowledge that they are being fundamentally changed by parenting this particular teen. This humbles the parent-child hierarchy healthily and models for the teen that growth and learning continue throughout life. It also relieves the impossible burden parents often carry: that they must be perfect examples or risk damaging the teen. Instead, both parent and teen are imperfect people learning together, which is more honest and ultimately more connective.
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