Recognizing that a teen's apparent indifference or rebellion often reflects their own longing for authentic connection, not rejection of the parent.
Rabia's entire spiritual path was animated by burning longing—a yearning so intense it consumed her. Adolescents, too, are flooded with longing: for identity, for belonging, for autonomy, for understanding. Yet parents often misread this longing as rejection. When a teen pushes away, argues, or withdraws, the parent interprets it as "they don't want me." But beneath the behavior is often a different hunger: the longing to be known as they truly are, not as their parent's child. This concept reframes conflict as a mirror reflecting both parties' unmet longings. The parent longs to stay connected; the teen longs to become separate. Neither is wrong. By recognizing the longing underneath resistance, parents can respond with curiosity rather than defensiveness, creating space for belonging that honors the teen's emerging autonomy.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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