Love Beyond Utility or Obligation

Rabia's love of God contained no instrumentality—she loved not to achieve salvation or reward but from the pure overflow of her heart. In diaspora found families, relationships often become instrumentalized: people stay connected because they need childcare, economic support, language help, or cultural services. While mutual aid is essential, this concept distinguishes between relationships built on genuine affection and those rooted primarily in practical necessity. Rabia's tradition invites found families to ask: Do we love one another beyond what we need from each other? Can we be present even when the practical utility ends? This practice acknowledges that diaspora displacement creates real material interdependencies, yet insists that the deepest family bonds transcend pure function. It calls for creating space where members see and love one another's full humanity—including vulnerability, joy, creativity, and spiritual depth—rather than reducing people to their instrumental value. When found families consciously prioritize love beyond utility, they create refuge from the purely transactional relationships that characterize much diaspora existence.