Love Beyond Utility or Outcome

Rabia's most radical teaching was love without expectation—she wouldn't serve God for reward or avoid sin from fear. In contemporary attachment parenting, this principle counters the pervasive practice of outcome-oriented parenting: choosing methods based on whether the child will sleep through the night, achieve high marks, or validate parental choices. True secure attachment develops when the parent loves the child as an end in themselves. This means valuing your infant's existence independent of their utility, loving your toddler not because of developmental milestones but because of their inherent worth, supporting your child's authentic interests even when they diverge from parental dreams. This stance is countercultural and difficult. Society pressures parents to view children as projects to optimize or extensions of self. Rabia's wisdom suggests liberation from this burden—both for parent and child. When a child is loved simply for existing, not for what they produce or achieve, they develop secure identity rooted in inherent worth rather than conditional approval. They learn to love others similarly. This legacy—teaching humans to value being over doing, presence over performance—may be Rabia's greatest gift to attachment parenting.